I don’t like Autumn. Loads of people seem to be excited about the new season, but I’m not one of them.
I’m sure I can’t be the only one, and I’m sure some pumpkin-spiced latte lovers will be horrified, so I thought I’d let you know why.
1. The weather.
Yes, it’s cosy when it’s raining outside and you’re all cwtched up (I know cwtch is a word, but is cwtched? All Welsh people say it, right?) in a blanket on the sofa. However, I can do that in Summer! I want to go outside without having to wear four layers of clothing and a pair of wellies!
2. Pumpkin everything.
I don’t even like Pumpkin Spice lattes! In fact, the only thing I like about pumpkins is the carvings people do for Halloween. While we’re at it, I’m not keen on cinnamon or gingerbread flavoured things either (except gingerbread men, and I can get those all year round!).
3. Autumn fragrances.
I love candles, but all the candles about at the moment are Cinnamon or Pumpkin Spice scented. Back to the last point, not for me! Give me fresh Spring and fruity Summer scents any day!
4. It gets dark again.
Dark mornings, dark nights. Some of us don’t see the daylight! I hate that we play with the clocks (and our minds!) every year. I don’t want to walk to work in the dark, while it rains – no thank you.
5. Everything is dying!
The leaves fall off the trees and we think it’s going to be all cute and orange and brown shades all over park floors. Insta-worthy leaf photos coming up! It actually just looks a mess and we constantly have to avoid walking through the seemingly harmless pile of leaves that is actually really fucking slippery.
6. Bank holidays are over, and so is life.
Most people have taken their holidays in work by now, and there’s no more bank holidays, so from here until Christmas it’s work, work, work!
7. Yay, colds!
At the change of the season, the entire bloody world gets a cold. Those little martyrs coming into work even though they’re ill happily pass it on to you and the rest of the building so it keeps going round in circles until you eventually book a sick day. For a cold, really?
8. Dry skin!
You finally have smooth, glowing skin with a bit of colour to it. Now it’s back to super soaking with moisturiser and hoping your foundation doesn’t look flaky!
9. No more nice hair.
What’s the point in doing your hair in humid, wet weather? At least in summer there was the odd day where you could make it look a bit decent. That’s gone now.
10. Spider eff-ing season!
Saving the worst til last. They’re everywhere! Literally everywhere! For the arachnophobes amongst us, this is a truly terrifying time. Tense for at least a month!
So those are the reasons I don’t like Autumn. Is there anybody out there who feels the same way? Surely there is?!
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