I wanted to write today.

I got up at 6am, before the baby wakes so I’d have time.

I tiptoed out of the room and went to boil the kettle. Tea while writing. Lovely.

I made a bottle ready, preparing for the waking cries.

I’d cracked it today, so organised!

I heard her stir, but she’d fall back asleep as usual.

She made an unfamiliar sound. I checked her. Eyes wide open.

She started to cry so I picked her up for a little comfort.

I’ll write when she falls back asleep.

She fell asleep on my chest.

I tried to transfer her to the crib, but she got upset.

I cuddled her back to sleep.

No point moving now, she’ll need her bottle soon. At least she’s getting some rest.

After her bottle, she’ll be settled so I’ll do some writing then.

She slept longer than expected, but bottle time has come.

Time for a nappy change too. She wet her clothes. I’ll change those too.

Okay she’s asleep in the crib.

I’m hungry, maybe a quick bowl of cereal. I never did drink that tea, I’ll make another.

Oh no, she has an upset stomach. I can tell by the movements and the cry. I’ll settle that for her then write.

Okay settled.

Soggy cereal eaten and tepid tea half drank.

I moved across the room to the desk and turned the computer on.

The door knocks.

It’s a delivery.

It wakes her of course, but she seems content where she is.

Okay, what was I going to write again?

I sit at the desk then realise it’s almost time for another bottle.

I’ll do the same as before, make it ready so there’s no panicked rush when she wakes. Calm vibes today.

Bottle made. Might as well make a tea while the water is hot. Maybe I’ll drink a hot one finally while writing.

I’m so tired, caffeine will surely help.

I’m so tired I’m just staring at the screen.

Okay, fingers to keyboard.

She stirs. No, not now. Mummy is being a person.

She stirs more. I soothe her with gentle shushes and loving pats.

I haven’t eaten anything substantial today. I’ll grab a snack to go with my tea.

She cries. I settle her. She cries again.

She cries until picked up and held. She stops crying and looks up at me with big Disney character eyes.

She just wants her Mummy.

I feel a pang of guilt for wanting to do my own thing instead of letting her be my whole world.

I’ll sit with her a while. It’s nearly feeding time anyway.

She needs a nappy change too. It’s a cycle that goes on day and night. So much more noticeable in babies.

How do those few hours pass so quickly?

Daddy will be home soon.

Bottle given and cuddles had.

She’s struggling with wind.

Lots of burping positions later, I place her in the crib. Cries.

I try again, taking my time before attempting to transfer to bed.

She’s asleep!

Daddy’s home!

We chat about our days, I update him on our daughter.

We get into a great conversation about current affairs.

It’s interrupted.

This time Daddy can take her.

I tell him I want to write so he supports. Gets me a drink. Sorts baby.

He asks what I’ve eaten today and I sheepishly admit to soggy cereal.

He suggests we eat so we are both satiated. Wise.

I make food and he does the next feed and change cycle.

We eat together, quite quickly.

Okay. Time to write!

It’s getting late, I’m so tired. Sleep deprived for sure.

I’ll get a quick shower to boost me so I can write.

We realise the bottles need sterilising. It’s difficult one handed so I go and clean everything while he handles a now fussy baby.

She won’t settle. She wants Daddy’s cuddles this time.

I go to prepare the bedroom ready for her to sleep properly.

I plan to write still, but I am tired. So tired.

Maybe I’ll write tomorrow.