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Where Have I Been?

If you follow me and are used to my many emails popping up or tweets showing yet another post, you may have wondered where I’ve been. Or not, but let’s pretend you noticed.

Lately, I’ve been feeling overwhelmed. So much has been going on in the last few months for me and it all sort of piled up. You know when you just can’t catch a break or a minute to wind down?

I’ve been meaning to explain my absence and while I know people probably didn’t notice (as if you have more important things than my blog and Twitter posts!) I felt the need to explain to the people who have been joining the Wednesday Twitter chats only to realise the host has gone awol. I also wanted to explain why the posts I’ve talked about writing haven’t happened.

Things haven’t necessarily been bad the whole time. Mostly, I have been busy. Throughout November and December, I’ve had lots of events, a few birthdays and things to celebrate. We had a friend staying for a while when between homes so hung out with him a lot too. In that respect, things have been great. However, when time starts to disappear and I have a lot to do, I think I go into panic mode and feel so overwhelmed at the ever growing list that I end up not doing any of it.

We’ve been in the process of buying a flat for a while now. I say while, far too long! There’s been a lot of back and forth and it’s taken much longer than it should have. 5 months in fact! It’s still not completed and we have had a lot to think about.

The run up to Christmas, while enjoyable, is always a bit mental for me. I suppose it is for most people though! I have a really big family, so have to buy gifts early enough to send home, as I can’t carry them all when travelling alone. Being the not-so-organised person that I am, this takes up a fair bit of December! The shopping, the packing, wrapping and sending is one of the many joys of living away from family. My journey’s were 10.5 and 8 hours long, and then I went straight to Manchester so it was a hectic week!

On top of that I had to make sure that all of my work was done and dusted until the new year, and anyone that works in online sales knows that getting things right before leaving is super important as the amount of customers you come back to can be overwhelming too.

Just before Christmas, my Grandma passed away, and while it was mostly due to her age (the Superwoman was 101 years old!), I am obviously still sad. It was also a year since my Nan died. On top of that I had family arguments and it all came to a head and just got too much. Rather than sorting things or trying to get myself together, I stubbornly ignored everything and everyone.

As well as that side of things, I have had a lot of blog events and restaurant reviews, which are amazing and I know I’m lucky to be at them, but they do take up time and it means I’ve been out a lot with less time to dedicate to things.

So within a couple of months, I went from my steady life to manic overdrive. On top of all that were general life stresses and I’ve been feeling like I just couldn’t get back to it.

There is a common pattern when I feel overwhelmed by life, and it’s basically me shutting down. For some reason, rather than take action, I go into hibernation mode and just let life happen around me. This only happens for a day or so and then I make myself get back to it, but as things have been piling on top of each other, and a new thing seems to have been thrown at me every few days, it’s been especially hard to get out of the funk (yep, I’m using that phrase). I feel like each time I’m ready to take on life,  something else happens to make me sit and binge watch tv while crying into my mug of tea!

I’ve felt a bit of a mess really. I like to make things better and keep things positive. When I feel unable to do that I suppose I get a bit lost.

I’d love to make this post about how to get over that overwhelming feeling, but the truth is, I still haven’t figured it out. One thing that does make me realise what I’m doing though, is seeing how it affects the people around me. Maybe I could have just let that argument with my Mum go, or maybe I can put a smile on my poor boyfriend’s face after a long day. When I realise that it’s affecting more than my productivity, it’s a good indicator that I need to get my arse into gear and stop wallowing.

The day before travelling for ten and a half hours to get home to that foreign country, Wales, I went to work as normal, packed, watched a film, wrapped presents, took blog photos and more!

I was still determined to keep Christmas a happy family time, despite losing someone just before it two years in a row, despite the family drama, despite the fact that I wouldn’t be with Ryan this year. Firstly, because there are children in the family that we need to keep our spirits up for, and secondly, because we all need to make the most of our time together. I miss people back home so much and can’t believe I almost didn’t go to see them because of how I was feeling.

So nothing major here and I’m okay (for those concerned and asking), just lots of general rubbish getting in the way of happy Tina life. I’m determined to let things get to me less and get on with things this year. No excuses!

At the end of it all, I had a lovely Christmas with my family and with Ryan’s. I also had a great beginning to the New Year with many exciting things coming up!

I hope you all had a lovely holiday and hope 2017 brings many great things for you. What are you looking forward to this year?

In short for the skim readers, I’m back!

Happy New Year! Lots of love…

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8 Comments

  • Reply Erin

    I totally get your frustration, but, in my opinion, when it comes to your blog, only your real life matters. As much as we all love our blogs and blog friends and readers and all that, your real life comes first 🙂 Besides, I think everyone kind of expects people to drop off the radar around Christmastime, it’s expected to be stressful, haha! But I’m glad you ended up having a great holiday, and I’m glad you’re back 🙂

    Erin | Explore, Refresh

    3 January 2017 at 15:44
    • Reply Tina

      Thanks! Ah no, I let everything go, although I realise it sounds like it was just the blog. I wanted to put it here as I wanted to share what’s been going on in life in general, especially as people in real life didn’t really notice a difference, but people joining in the chats etc did. You’re right though, real life definitely comes first. I hope you had a good holiday too 🙂 xx

      3 January 2017 at 15:51
  • Reply Aimee

    I’m so sorry for your loss. But I can understand why you’ve been away! It sounds like you’ve had so much going on. Don’t beat yourself up. Life expects a lot from us, and sometimes we can’t keep up. Sometimes I lie awake at night, thinking of all the things I need to do, and panicking about how I’ll find the time to do them all. Life’s crazy! Good to have you back, though. xx

    4 January 2017 at 14:49
    • Reply Tina

      Thank you. Yeah it gets a bit much doesn’t it? Thanks for making me remember I’m not the only one xx

      4 January 2017 at 16:21
  • Reply This, tatt and the other

    I agree with Erin, real life always takes priority over your blog. Plus it sounds like you’ve had a mountain of stuff happen; it’s no wonder you’ve felt stressed and not wanting to deal with any of it.

    Christmas is lovely when you’re all together in one place and playing happy families, but when you have to trek from one place to another it can start to feel like a chore that you’d just rather not bother with.

    So sorry to hear about you Grandma, especially a year after your Nan too. The time of year compounds things as well. How bloody rotten for you 🙁

    Glad you seem slightly brighter, and here’s to less stress in 2017 (and good luck with the flat, I know how maddening buying a home can be!) xx

    5 January 2017 at 13:57
    • Reply Tina

      Yeah real life definitely takes priority, but I went off the radar a bit there too. Definitely feeling better now! You’re right about Christmas, I love going home for it, but when there’s tension at the same time it seems silly to bother.
      Thanks, I’m sure things will all be okay. Just all gets a bit much sometimes 🙂 hope you’re doing okay xx

      5 January 2017 at 14:17
  • Reply twentysomethingmeltdown

    Your grandmother sounds like an amazing woman, what an age, what a life she must have lived and what a family she must’ve had by the end. Sending lots of squishes your way xxxx

    8 January 2017 at 15:33
    • Reply Tina

      Aww thank you! This message made me so happy! I can’t imagine all the changes she must have seen in her life. Like now we expect technology to advance, but it wasn’t even a thing when she was young!
      She got to see her great great grandchildren too which must have been incredible 🙂 So appreciate this message. Love you xxxx

      8 January 2017 at 20:49

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