Urgh! I don’t tend to moan about my weight, as I’m happy with myself, but I am aware that I’ve piled it on, and probably can’t ignore that forever.
BUT, the main thing that has bothered me, is although I’m pretty happy with the way I look – it’s other people who aren’t. ‘Friends’ mention weight gain and how I’ve put it on, or ask ‘how much do you weigh now?’ because CLEARLY it’s more than before! Plus, comparisons and put-downs are always healthy!
I have the classic friends that even though they’re all on diets, allow themselves to eat loads of junk with me or always want to meet for ‘bad’ food somewhere. Obviously this is fun now and then and I don’t mind, but when the one that bangs on about your weight asks you to go for a burger, it’s not cool and you feel self-conscious the entire time!
Some of my actual awesome friends don’t care! It’s not mentioned unless part of a conversation which is fine. It’s nice to be able to openly discuss it. But never do they say yeah you’re looking pretty fat. They realistically ask what I’m going to do if I’m bothered and talk about their own experiences. And I figured out why. It’s because they have accepted themselves, they don’t need to constantly compare or make themselves feel better by thinking that at least they’re thinner or fitter than someone else. They genuinely care about me and how I feel about it.
I encourage and support all of my friends when they’re feeling down about themselves, or when they say they want to get fitter. I’m happy for them when they make any life change to better themselves. I cook slimming world meals for one friend (unless we get a massive takeaway!) because I don’t want her to think she’s ruining her progress when she comes over. I don’t make it a big deal of it, I just do it. My point here is you can be supportive by doing little things, rather than telling them to just sort it out! How does that help?
So, aside from the obvious health issues, etc. this is why I think being ‘fat’ is hard:
– I have found myself noticing people’s reactions more. They are more wary of talking about size around me in case I’m offended. I’m not blind and have scales, it’s fine! Let’s talk!
– I have had to put up with people talking about being fat to me, and acting like I relate. I don’t. I feel fine and like how I look. Not about to bash myself just to join in the little hate party.
– Then there’s the lunch battle. Every single day, somebody comments when my lunch is healthy – it is healthy almost every day except when I forget to bring any! I drank peppermint tea once, and got asked if I’m on a diet. What, every person in the world who drinks that is on a diet? Nope, it’s because I ‘should be’.
– People always make those jokes about ‘naughty’ food if they eat something a bit indulgent. I always thought that was lame, but now I’m expected to feel the same way about it. I just want to eat and enjoy without being made to feel guilty. If it tastes nice, I’m in! It’s not naughty to give into a craving or to allow yourself a lovely treat. It’s human. So what if I eat 5 doughnuts in one sitting?! (Okay, so that’s the behaviour I’m going to be reigning in a bit!).
– “How much do you weigh now”. How many times do guys get asked how much they weigh by their friends? Is it normal? Does it happen to all girls or am I super lucky? I never care, I’ll openly admit it, but not sure why it matters. It’s not the number on the scales! Everyone has to know that the number you see does not equate fitness levels!
By the way, I definitely am super unfit, but still! They don’t know that 😉
Does anyone relate?